Top 5 Things You Shouldn’t Tell Your New Girlfriend

Tagged with: Romance

1. Number of Sexual Partners

You don’t really want to know how many guys have been with the girl you are talking to, and you certainly don’t want her to know how many girls you have been with.

One the one hand, the number could be too high and she will think you’re a whore. On the other hand, the number could be too low and she will think that you don’t know what you are doing.

It is also a good to not answer the “how many women have you been with” question with something like “one more after tonight, baby.” Ok, that’s probably bad, too…

2. Bank Account

This is especially a problem in young relationships. Keep your personal crap out of her eyes – because if the relationship ever goes sour you can expect a lot of purchases from Saks to start popping up on your monthly statements.

3. You Love Her

If you are the *** who tells a girl that you love her after knowing her for like a week, you are setting yourself for a good ol’ life ruining. For one, she now has huge expectations and “marriage” is constantly on her mind. Secondly, you have squandered away the upper hand in the relationship and she will now proceed to make you her *****. Finally, you don’t love her yet. You just like that ***. A lot.

4. Your Fetishes

It is not a good idea to ask if a girl if she is into tying guys up and strapping a car battery to a guy’s ******s while he is spanked by two midgets when your relationship is first starting out. Nor when your relationship is twenty years old for that matter. Seriously. Unless that scenario is the ONLY way your weird self can get off, keep it civil for a while.

5. Your Creepy Secrets

Some guys come right out with it and tell a girl about the Big Bird stuffed animal that they have slept with since they were four or about that time they were in the Boy Scouts and the scoutleader did more than bird watch. Don’t be that guy.